Squidward Was Crazy
by vonniebeth
Summary: Squidward convinces SpongeBob that his way to play the clarinet is the right way, but when SpongeBob and Patrick find a quartet playing the clarinet the real way, they want to sue. Please read and review, and please don't be mean.


**woo! More SpongeBob! SpongeBob has been my fav show for, like, ever. I don't know where this idea came from, but, ya know… that's how I am. 9 more stories til my goal! Please review**

SpongeBob was running out of his pineapple to visit Patrick when he heard noise coming out of his next-door neighbor Squidward's house. Anxiously, he ran to Squidward's door, knocking ever so hardly. "SQUIDWARD!" SpongeBob yelled.

The door opened and SpongeBob was looking up at a very angry Squidward. "SpongeBob, can't you hear that I'm busy?" Squidward shouted.

"But I heard noise…"

Squidward showed SpongeBob his clarinet. "That was me playing my clarinet, you barnacle-head."

"Oh… but don't clarinets sound a bit like this?" SpongeBob took Squidward's clarinet and played it, the clarinet sounding just right.

Squidward immediately felt jealous of SpongeBob's talent and yanked the clarinet out of SpongeBob's grasp. "No! You're doing it wrong! I'll play it my way, okay? Now go away!"

Squidward slammed the door and went back to playing his clarinet while SpongeBob just shrugged and went to Patrick's rock. "Hi Patrick!" SpongeBob called as he lifted the rock up.

"Oh, hey SpongeBob!" Patrick called back as he stared at his TV. "It's a good thing you came. There's nothing good on TV!"

SpongeBob looked at the TV screen, where a clarinet quartet was playing classical music. "Funny. They're playing their clarinets wrong…"

"Are they?"

"Yeah. Squidward just told me that his way was the right way, and this doesn't sound like the way Squidward plays at all."

"Then we shall go sue them!"

"Okay!"

Patrick and SpongeBob set off to go sue the quartet and Squidward watched them through his window and laughed. "Those idiots!" he cried. "They'll never be able to…" The doorbell rang. "Darn…" Squidward opened the door, only to see SpongeBob and Patrick standing there. "What do you 2 want?"

"We're going to go sue a clarinet quartet!" SpongeBob shouted. "Won't you come with us?"

"Uh, no!"

"But why not? It'll be fun! Then you could teach them the 'right' way to play their clarinets and they won't have to be mocked!"

"Well…"

"Oh, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?" Patrick pleaded.

"Fine! Okay! But I want no monkey business from you guys!"

"Okay!"

So the 3 of them set off to go sue the clarinet quartet. When they were halfway there, Squidward began to regret giving in to them. SpongeBob and Patrick had started singing songs in endless rounds, then tried getting Squidward to join them, then got bored so they started telling each other lame jokes. Squidward swore that he was going to get a migraine, but, in the nick of time, they arrived at their destination. SpongeBob and Patrick excitedly ran inside while Squidward hung back. The quartet, to their luck, was hanging out in the main lobby. SpongeBob dropped the first bomb by saying, "Hey, don't you guys know the proper way to play a clarinet?"

"Uh, yeah," one of the quartet members said. "Why?"

"Well, you must be stupid," Patrick said. "Cuz Squidward knows the proper way to play a clarinet."

"Squidward?"

"Yeah!" Patrick looked back at Squidward. "Come on, Squidward! There's no time to lose! Show them the proper way to play a clarinet!"

Squidward sighed, wishing that Patrick had not put him on the spot like that. He lifted his clarinet to his mouth and began to play. When he finished, he smiled hopefully at the quartet, but they all laughed at him. "Dude, that's HILARIOUS!" the quartet members said.

"What?"

"You tried getting us to think that YOU could actually play the clarinet, but the truth is you SUCK!"

The quartet continued to laugh as Squidward ran out, crying. "Oh no, Patrick!" SpongeBob said. "That quartet made him cry!" SpongeBob looked at the quartet, who was close to crying from laughing so hard. "Now don't you guys feel awful?"

"For what?" the quartet wanted to know.

"You made Squidward cry. That wasn't called for. I think you should apologize."

"Sponge, you don't know anything on being a group. Me and my buddies have been playing together for a long time, and your squid buddy just completely embarrassed himself. We had to tell him that he wasn't good so he wouldn't be tempted to join us. Do you understand me, kid?"

"Yeah, I understand. I understand that you and your friends are a group of jerks that don't care about anybody's feelings but their own." SpongeBob walked out the door, and turned back to say, "I hope the 4 of you live nice lives with each other, cuz that is as many friends as you'll ever have. Come on, Patrick."

SpongeBob and Patrick left to find Squidward and the quartet looked at each other. "Maybe he's right," one of the members said. "Do you think we were too hard on him?"

A few days later, Squidward was still upset by what the quartet said to him when a letter came through his door. He picked the letter up and read it. _Squidward, your friends have guilted us into feeling bad for what we said to you. We're sorry that we made you cry, and we feel that with some extra practice and maybe some lessons, you will get better with what you do. Have a good day. Signed, The Guilty Quartet_. Squidward smiled. "I think they're right!" he shouted. He got up, ran to his clarinet and practiced for hours on end…

… and he imagined his future with the clarinet. He would write famous compositions, and would die being filthy, stinkin' rich… and surely they wouldn't call Mozart crazy after that…

**lol, if you don't get that last part, I got the idea from Next to Normal**


End file.
